Public Speaking

Speaking

     Along with the awareness week I gave a 30 minute talk during the school day.  I spoke with 8^th, 9^th, then 10^th graders.  Our administration is understandably against whole school assemblies.  Needless to say I was nervous on Monday about what I would say and how it would go. 

     This was going to be the largest group of people I have ever spoken in front of and this time I was speaking about something very personal.  I talked about Lorelei, her experiences, and our expectations.  The session was led off by showing an r-word video produced by Special Olympics Virginia.  I then explained how fortunate our daughter is.  They were astonished when I gave the statistic that 93% of fetuses are aborted if they test positive for Down Syndrome.  Even now this stat is amazing to comprehend.  I then told of Lorelei’s surgeries and struggles.  But I was never far off from mentioning her successes and how well she is doing. 

     She would always finish the show for me by strutting her stuff onto the stage so I could hold her in my arms and wave hello.  I left each group with a final thought that Lorelei, or any other person, is not defined by having Down Syndrome.  After all it is something that she has.  It is not who she is.  I also wanted them to not feel bad for someone with Down Syndrome nor for Maria and I.  I wanted them to understand that she was just like them, a child growing up and learning as she goes.  It just may take her a little bit longer to learn it.

   The sessions went better and better each time.  I got more confidence and things flowed easier.  By the end of the week the administration commented that they felt it was the best and most informative sessions the students had gone to in a while.  They were even impressed at how well the students acted during the session.  This made me feel even better about it. 

     Maria will be speaking to the middle school during their awareness week and r-word campaign on March 5th.  It’ll be a younger crowd but we expect them to do just as well with the cause. 

Here are some pictures of the banners that the we and the students signed.

Both Banners

First Banner

 Second Banner

   

Next up: Game for Respect

The awareness week was finished off with a football game where we took donations for a local organization.  This organization helps provide job opportunities for people with intellectual or physical challenges.  Tomorrow I’ll let you know how that went.  

New Ideas

     This fall began a mission of Maria and I’s.  By no means is this mission our own idea nor are we leading the way. We are simply following examples set forth by other people.

     In October the high school that I work for held an awareness week for people with disabilities and a fundraiser football game that we called The Game for Respect. We also began a program called Project Unify at the high school. The middle school which Maria works at is also holding an awareness week this spring. R-Word The awareness weeks were ideas that we got from a campaign called “Spread the Word to End the Word”. I contacted our local Special Olympics representative to see how we could work together. I threw out the idea of having students sign a banner and take the pledge to stop using the “r-word”. For those that may not know we are talking about the word “retard” or “retarded”. They loved this idea so much they were willing to buy and send me 700 wristbands to give to the students when they signed the banner. So this whole campaign was completely free to myself and the school. Anyone that works in a public school system knows that free makes things A LOT easier to get accomplished.

     The week went well. I had volunteers from my Wildcat Buddies help to inform students about the banner and what it meant. The guidance department even gave me a list of all the students in the school. As students came to sign the banner they had to give us their name and we would check them off, sign, and then hand over a bracelet. Our goal was to have the entire school sign the banner. Of course we had to go searching some students out. I even went and addressed some students directly if they were against signing the banner. I simply would ask what they were against and then explain what this pledge and this word meant to me, Lorelei, and some of their fellow students. Every student that I spoke with saw that our cause was justified. We finished with only about 30 of the 750 students not signing the banner. It was a great accomplishment for our first go around. We are hoping the middle school has similar success.

Speaking
     Along with the awareness week I gave a 30 minute talk during the school day. I spoke with 8th, 9th, then 10th graders seperately. Our administration is understandably against whole school assemblies. Needless to say I was nervous on Monday about what I would say and how it would go...

 To be continued ...

Well Hello There

So … apparently Maria and I have discovered that we are not destined to be professional bloggers.  Our last post was all the way back in July just as football season was fast approaching.  To catch everyone up on recent events, and some not so recent, I plan on creating several posts hitting different topics from the past months.  

To get started I’ll mention our last visit to UVA.

Back on January 25^th we took Lorelei to the Kluge Center down at UVA for her meeting with Dr. Anderson.  Lorelei took a few moments to get warmed up but then performed excellent.  Our fear was that she was doing these wonderful things at home like climbing on EVERYTHING and communicating through signing but would be too shy and not show this to the doctor.  There was no disappointment on this day.  She did very well as the doctor would pull animals out of the barn and Lorelei would sign many of them.  Ofcourse she would go with “dog” on anything she wasn’t sure of but would soon hit the correct sing if she heard the word.  After about an hour with Dr. Anderson she told us that Lorelei was doing wonderful and to begin working on coordinating different ideas such as what animals say. 

Lorelei’s eyesight is also the next big step.  We are hoping to get her vision checked soon so to be sure she isn’t having troubles.  Nothing has really seemed apparent but we are just trying to be proactive. 

Let me add in the finish that Lorelei’s ability to do the things she can has been nothing but amazing to us.  She works so hard and wouldn’t be where she is without the great example set by Mikaela, the hard work and love of Maria, and the dedication and caring that Bethany has shown our two angels.  I can’t thank all of you enough.

Long Time....

We know that it has been an extremely long time since we have posted.  This summer has come and gone in a blur and I don't know if we have had much time to just sit and breathe.

We did go on our first family vacation with some of our very best friends (also on their first family vacation).  We went to the beach for a week and we had a BLAST!  :)  Mikaela LOVED the sand, water, and everything about it.  Lorelei was not too convinced.  She liked to eat the sand (Yuck!), but was not too thrilled with the water. Everyday, Lorelei would play for a while and then end up falling asleep.  :) It took us about 2 days to get the routine straight with two toddlers and a baby, but once we got it, it was smooth sailing.  We believe that next year will get easier and all of us are already looking forward to it! :)

We spent a week with Grandma and Grandpa Erwin while I had to attend class on campus (I have decided to pursue my Doctorate degree).  I think the girls enjoyed spending so much time with the grandparents and I know that the grandparents enjoyed that! J

The girls then spent a long weekend with Abuelo and Abuela while Brandon and I took a vacation on our own.  Everyone enjoyed that trip! J

Grandma and Grandpa Wakefield just left this morning! We had a wonderful time with them and are so glad they were able to come and spend time with the girls as it’s been a year since they had seen them and A LOT changes in a year.

Mikaela is growing like a weed.  She is walking/running everywhere and won’t sit still for ANYTHING.  She is a handful, but so funny.  She loves her sister and they have begun to interact even more and it’s just fantastic to watch! J Today, they were playing with a hat and when Lorelei got it she would keep it away from Mikaela and they were both just laughing up a storm.  I am so thankful that they have each other!

Lorelei is doing fantastic!! She is walking more than crawling now (WOOHOO!!), and is only 17 months old!  THAT IS AMAZING!! J She does where little orthotic boots for half of the day just to be sure that her bones grow correctly because she turns her feet in a bit.  Other than that, she is ahead of the game and she is having a great time getting there.  Her tubes in her ears are doing great.  We haven’t had any issues (knock on wood) with anything! J We go back to Dr. Early in November to get them checked out and be sure everything is still okay.  When we went to the Down Syndrome Clinic in May, they drew some blood to check her thyroid.  One of the numbers did come back a little high so they endocrinologist suggested to put her on medication to prevent any issues with hyper or hypo-thyroidism.  She has been doing great with the medication and I believe it has helped.  When we had gotten her results back she had stopped eating as well as she was and we believe that was the culprit.  There are not problems eating now!  We will get the numbers checked again next month to be sure everything is still okay.

God has answered my prayers and we are beginning to become advocates for local families. J We met the family that the NICU had contacted me about a few months ago.  J We had them over for dinner earlier this month and their son is ADORABLE! J We hope to keep in touch with them and start a good support system.  I was contacted by the NICU again last week about another family. I have called them and am waiting to see if I hear back. I am hoping we will have a great group of parents in the near future! 

Busy Weeks

The next couple of weeks should be fun.  

It’s 5:00 am and Maria and her mom are packing the car for the trip.  Maria got Lorelei out of the crib and right on cue Mikaela woke up screaming. Lorelei is currently in route with mommy through the fog and mist to the University of Virginia to have a few things taken care of.  She has failed the hearing test in her right ear ever since she was born.  The amount she has failed by is very small though.  They feel that cleaning her ears of wax will help her to pass the test.  To no surprise a 14 month old baby will not sit still while a doctor sticks things in her coffee stirrer sized ear canals.  Therefore the doctor this morning will put her under anesthesia, clean her ears, and then test her hearing through brain function while she sleeps.  If he finds that there is water behind the ear drum he will install tubes for the first time.  He has told us that he would like to stay away from this if possible.  I am simply waiting to hear the results now.  That’s it for this week.

Next week Lorelei will make another trip to UVA for an appointment at the Kluge Children’s Rehabilitation Center.  This will be her one year checkup to see how she is developing.  We are all very excited for this appointment.  We have no idea what they will say but are hoping to hear something about how she’s doing wonderful and even possibly “above par” for a child her age.  Ofcourse as long as they don’t tell us that she’s behind somewhere in the developmental process or find something wrong we will be extremely happy.  She is up to the point of cruising along the couch, walking while holding your hands, and even standing independently for a short period of time.  We’ll see what they say. 

Also in week two of this adventure we will begin a process that we were first exposed to through the Noah’s Dad blog.  We have attempted to put Lorelei on the treadmill to help her learn the function of walking.  You never realize how heavy 20 pounds are until you lean over a treadmill in a squat position and are holding the weight out in front of you.  She gets heavy quick.  So now our physical therapist has created an apparatus that stands over the treadmill.  It will support Lorelei so we can work on her foot movement and not focus so hard on holding her up.  We are hoping this advances her walking even faster.  There you go … week 2 in the books!

Now if you don’t mind … it’s time for some random thoughts. 

At my high school it is approaching that time of year when the seniors are working their way out of our system.  Yesterday was the senior cap and gown class picture.  We have one student from the special education classroom that is going to cross the stage this year.  He was all decked out in his maroon cap and gown like all the other male seniors.  You could even tell he was doing his best to sit nice and tall in his wheelchair.  As I looked at our modest number of around 200 seniors and how they all looked so nice and as one big group I noticed something.  Let’s call it the “Cut Out Effect”.  Off to the side of the front row I see a student slightly away from the rest of the group.  He is all dressed to be in the picture and I am sure he is in it but maybe only slightly.  This is my senior student who’s in a wheelchair.  When looking a little closer I felt that something was wrong.  It bothered me that this student was put on the outskirts of the group.  To me this epitomized the apparent mentality of our school and most of society.  “Let’s separate this kid that’s a little different from the rest of the group, not INCLUDE him.”  I am not saying that he should have been in the middle of the picture and the focus of everything.  I would just like to see these students incorporated into the group.  Put him a few students in or something.  It became even more apparent to me how segregated these types of students are from the general population when the seniors finished their picture.  As they all walked away from the bleachers, all 200 seniors walked directly past the student in the wheelchair.  Not one of them acknowledged him being there.  No one looked at him.  No one said hello.  NOTHING!   Am I reading too much into this?  After watching this scene unfold I was speaking with another teacher.  I understand that I may be more aware of this sort of thing due to my personal situation.  But am I too aware?  Am I too politically correct now?  Am I making a big deal of nothing?

What do you think?

Inner Battles

While having a conversation with another parent of a child with Down syndrome they said “we are very proud that our son has Down syndrome.  Our daughter introduces him as ‘my little brother and he has Down Syndrome’”. 

The battle that I find myself fighting is where I stand in this thought process. I am in no way saying that these parents are wrong or anything of the sort.  It just causes a question in my mind. 

 I am very proud of Lorelei and am in no way ashamed of her having down syndrome.  However, I never feel that I want to introduce her as this.  To me she is not a “Down’s kid” nor does it define her.  She is just another kid.  She will learn and play along with everyone else.  She may end up being a little slower to do so but that’s nothing new.  Children progress at such varied rates anyways.  She already can stand, cruise along the couch, sign “more”, “dog”, and “all done”.  I am a proud parent … correction … we are very proud parents of a child with Down syndrome. 

This leads me into another debate that I am having with myself and I discussed this with Maria a few weeks ago.  It was really brought to my attention after another conversation I was having with a parent of a child with Down syndrome.  He informed me that in school systems in VA, siblings of children with disabilities are labeled as “high risk”.  For those of you that don’t know this means that they are likely to fall behind academically and socially.  It makes me almost feel bad having a shirt or sticker that says “proud dad of a child with down syndrome”.  The struggle isn’t because I have a disagreement with this statement. On the total opposite end of the discussion I am very proud of Lorelei.  The struggle arises when I think about Mikaela.  I never want her to feel that I am supportive of Lorelei and not her.  I want to be sure to show that I love both of them, am proud of both of them, and am in full support of both of them.  I want a shirt that says “proud dad of two amazing daughters” with the Down syndrome ribbon in the background or something along those lines. 

Some victories to tell you about:

I have begun a campaign at the high school I work for to create a few “Unified” sports programs.  It appears that we will be beginning a Unified Bowling team at the high school.  It will be a varsity sport pairing an athlete with intellectual disabilities along with an athlete from the general population.  We are the first high school in this entire part of VA to try a program like this.  The whole point is to get these kids working together and to allow the students that are usually in a self-contained classroom to get out and interact and show off their abilities to students that they normally couldn’t work with.  I’m really excited and am hoping to have a winter indoor bocce-ball team and a spring track and field team.  We’ll see how it turns out.

I am also working to have a disabilities awareness week where students can take the pledge to not use the word “retard” anymore.  I hope to also have a few speakers and show some informational videos.  I chose October because as you all know it’s National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.  The week would begin with the Buddy Walk in Washington DC on the 20^th.  Then do the week of speakers and videos and finish the week on Friday the 26^th with a benefit football game to raise money for the local workshop that helps find and provide jobs for people with disabilities.  I’m really hoping that this works out.

Meeting New Families

I feel like I have so much to write that I have no clue where to start! :)

To update, both girls are doing fantastic! :) Mikaela is still only taking a few steps on her own, but we will get her walking soon enough.  Lorelei is pulling herself up all over the place, bear crawling, and has even gotten bold and is standing without holding on to anything for 30-45 seconds at a time. We are making progress and are so excited about it. :)

We had a wonderful break with Grandma and Grandpa Erwin and Abuelo and Abuela.  We enjoyed a lot of family time and taking lots of pictures! :)

While we were in VA Beach, we got together with two other families that I met through Facebook.  Both families have a boy with Down Syndrome.  One boy is 7  months old and the other will be a year old later this month.  Thanks to Noah's Dad.com, we all "met" and have been keeping in touch with each other.  We finally got to meet in person and had a wonderful time!  It was refreshing to talk to others that know what you are going through and where you are coming from and feel the same you do.  Meeting families that may be having a harder time than we did/are, also puts everything in perspective.  I feel like what we had to go through is so minuscule compared to others!  My heart just goes out to those families.  I wish I could do something for them, but I will just be here if they need me.

We also took the girls to the beach for the first time.  We went for a photo shoot so we didn't really "play."  Plus, it was chilly and windy so we didn't want to keep the girls out there very long.  Lorelei wanted to eat the sand.  Mikaela wasn't sure what to think about it. :) It was fun to watch them play and just makes me more excited for our trip to Myrtle Beach in June.

I received a message today from one of the nurse practitioners at the NICU.  She was asking if I would be willing to talk to a mother who recently had a baby boy that was born with Down Syndrome.  I was so ecstatic when I read the message! :) That is what we want to do! Brandon and I want to be advocates.  I am not a writer and find it hard to find time to blog every day, so I don't think we will be getting any recognition for that.  I will not be writing a book like the recent Bloom:  Finding Beauty in the Unexpected by Kelle Hampton (a FANTASTIC read!!), so I won't be telling my story to people that way.  I want to tell my story in person. :) We haven't been through a lot compared to other families, but we still have a story and it will continue for a very long time.  I want others to know that this is okay and that we wouldn't want it any other way.  I want to get the word out there somehow!  I want others to know that if they are lucky enough to have a child with Down Syndrome, it will be okay!